Killer Robots Are Made, Not Born
by Dead Composer
Summary: A Treehouse of Horror fic. Professor Frink is accused of murder! Can Lisa prove his innocence?
1. The Robot Attacks

This story is rated PG for violence.

Disclaimer: Matt Groening owns the Simpsons.

----

Chapter 1

In the basement of a decrepit office building in downtown Springfield, two men who fancied themselves gentlemen were making a fateful deal.

"Lindsay Neagle is killing me in the polls," said Mayor Joe Quimby, known as "Diamond Joe" due to the diamond pin he always sported. The room was dimly illuminated with wall lights, and reeked of cigar smoke. A well-stocked bar stood in one corner, a pool table in another.

"I see," said the other man, Antonio "Fat Tony" D'amico. "And you want to reciprocate in kind. I know exactly how you feel."

"Do this one thing for me," Quimby urged him, "and I'll remember you after I'm re-elected."

The mob boss smiled warmly. "Fortunately you caught me at a good time. My daughter's wedding was this morning."

Only one door led out of the room, and a knock was suddenly heard from it--a strong, insistent knock.

Fat Tony motioned at the mayor. "You stay right where you are," he ordered, "and don't make a sound, capisce?"

Drawing a revolver from his belt, Tony shuffled quietly to the door and backed up against the wall next to it. The knocking continued, unvarying, uninterrupted. The visitor, whoever it was, clearly didn't know the secret knock.

Tony stood, not breathing, gun raised level to his head.

The next knock was much louder and much stronger. So strong, in fact, that it crushed the door into slivers.

Fat Tony sprang into action, confronting the intruder and unloading all six cylinders of his revolver. The bullets simply bounced off.

Before him, filling the entire doorway, was a creature the likes of which he had never seen. It easily exceeded seven feet in height. It had arms, legs, a torso, and a head, but they were thick as tree trunks and encased in a dull gray metal. At first Tony suspected it might be a new type of police assault vehicle--but how did such a thing get into the basement without making noise?

His weapon exhausted, Fat Tony hurled it at the monster's chest, but it was deflected without leaving so much as a dent. He picked up the gun and threw it at his opponent again, with the same result. He tried a third time, but the metallic beast raised an arm and caught the revolver in its pudgy iron fingers.

As Tony and Quimby witnessed in horror, the creature squeezed the gun into a shapeless mass.

It then extended its arms and began to speak in a shrill, tinny voice. "Kill...kill...kill..."

Before the mob boss could retreat even a step, the machine lunged forward with lightning speed, wrapping its hydraulic fingers around his throat. Alarmed at seeing his friend in mortal danger, Quimby flew at the creature and pounded his fists against its side, but hardly succeeded in making it vibrate.

It took only a second. The robotic intruder released its grasp on Fat Tony, and the mobster collapsed to the floor, limp as overcooked pasta.

----

It was business as usual at the Kwik-E-Mart.

"Open the safe, dude," barked Snake, training the muzzle of a huge shotgun at the hapless Apu. "I'm totally gonna strip this establishment clean."

"I cannot open the safe," protested Apu, his hands raised. "Only the day shift clerk knows the combination."

"And who is that, dude?" Snake demanded.

"Er...I don't know."

"I am totally losing my patience, dude," said Snake, tensing his trigger finger.

The automatic doors flew open, and the tattooed thug suddenly had another target--a most unusual target.

Snake swiveled and aimed his weapon at the hulking metallic creature, which approached him with elegant strides, its anvil-like feet leaving indentations in the linoleum. He fired several shots, but failed to even slow down his attacker.

As Apu watched in astonished disbelief, the massive, quick-moving robot grabbed Snake by the neck and levitated him several inches above the floor. A second or two passed, and the petty crook dropped from the beast's grip and landed in a lifeless heap.

The creature's blank, bifurcated face displayed no emotion. It made no sound, other than a faint whine. It turned around by spinning on one leg, then trudged out of the shop as if nothing had happened.

Apu looked down at Snake's motionless figure, then watched the robot as it vanished into the darkness of the street. "Uh...thank you, come again," he choked out.

----

The next morning was a Saturday. Bart and Lisa were thoughtfully watching TV from their couch--by "thoughtfully", I mean they had enough sense to change the channel when they noticed that Krusty was a rerun.

"Hey, cool," said Lisa when she saw what the next channel held. "It's that educational PBS show."

"Oh, man," Bart groused. "Now the TV is trying to make me smart. Is nothing sacred?"

On the screen, a little cartoon mouse boy with a kerosene torch in one hand was looking sheepishly up at his father. "I didn't do it," he insisted in a squeaky voice.

"It's not good to lie," said the father, gazing upon the scorched wreckage of his house. "You should always tell the truth."

"Okay," said the little mouse boy. "I burned down the house, Dad. I'm sorry."

"There, now," said his father, smiling proudly. "Doesn't it feel better to tell the truth?"

As the end credits rolled, Bart could do nothing but complain. "Some kid's gonna try that in real life, and his dad's gonna kill him."

The familiar face of a certain washed-up actor appeared on the TV screen. "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such PBS shows as 'Upchuck, Downchuck' and 'All Creatures Great and Smelly'. I'm donating my valuable time to encourage you to donate your valuable money to a valuable public resource."

"Hey, Dad!" Lisa called out. "It's a PBS pledge drive!"

Like a flash, Homer tore down the stairway and rushed to the phone. As he dialed the number on the screen, Lisa cautioned him, "Be sure to donate a reasonable amount this time. Remember when you pledged ten thousand dollars, and Mr. Rogers and the Teletubbies tried to kill you?"

"I'm sure they've forgotten all about that," said Homer, not noticing that Arthur the Aardvark was mooning him through the picture window.

Exasperated, Lisa clicked the remote and changed the channel.

"This is Kent Brockman reporting for Channel 6 News. Police have no leads in a pair of bizarre murders that took place last night."

Upon hearing the word 'murders', Homer put down the receiver, bounded over to the window, and looked out in the direction of the Flanders home. He groaned in disappointment upon seeing that Ned was alive and well, happily riding his lawn mower.

"Murder number one took place in the Kwik-E-Mart, where this man"--an image of Apu appeared--"claims that he was being robbed at gunpoint when a giant robot entered his shop and strangled the robber to death."

"Giant robot," Homer chuckled incredulously. "Manjula must be feeding him too much curry."

"Murder number two took place in the basement of the Crumbly office building, where this man"--Hans Moleman stood before the reporter--"led police to the body of local Mafia kingpin Antonio 'Fat Tony' D'amico."

"I was walking along, minding my own business," the wrinkly old geezer recounted, "when someone conked me over the head. I woke up in a bar room next to a dead guy."

Brockman's next interviewee was police chief Clancy Wiggum. "The marks on Fat Tony's neck are exactly like the ones on Snake's," he reported. "No fingerprints were left. We're operating under the theory that a single killer is responsible."

A crude drawing of a mechanical creature appeared. "This is a police artist's rendering of the culprit, based on the witness' description," said Wiggum.

"Here with me now," Brockman continued, "is a local expert on robots, Professor John Frink."

The gaunt, bespectacled scientist nodded toward the camera. "The police portrait resembles one of my most recent creations, the Justicebot," he stated. "However, I did not design the Justicebot to kill. The Justicebot is incapable of violence, and aggression, and crushing, and destroying, and hurting, ng'hoyven."

"Dr. Frink," said Brockman, inching his microphone closer to the professor's face, "you claim to have built one of these Justicebots. Where is it now?"

"That's the funny thing, Kent," Frink replied. "I looked all over the secret warehouse where I keep all my prototypes, and the glavin thing wasn't there."

----

to be continued


	2. Carjacked!

While the police continued to question Frink about his suspicious invention, the Justicebot, the Simpsons drove to Springfield Harbor to tour a 17th-century Spanish galleon which Captain McAllister had acquired. They followed the old sea dog across a strong, freshly built wooden ramp that led onto the vessel.

The captain recounted the history of the large sailing ship as he led them from deck to deck. "Yarrr. This old girl be called the Santa Ana. She was used to carry treasure from the Spanish colonies, but never for warrr."

As Homer was admiring the mast and sails, he felt a certain type of pressure building up. "Er, excuse me, captain," he inquired, "but does this ship have a little sailor's room?"

"Narrrr," the captain replied. "If you have to go, you go over the side."

Marge grabbed Homer by the ear while he gazed longingly at the railing. "Don't even think of it," she scolded him.

The waves of Springfield Bay gently rocked the old vessel as Captain McAllister led his guests toward the center of the ship. "This part be called the poop deck," he educated them. "This other part be the flush deck." Homer gritted his teeth and struggled to hold it in.

"Hey, Lis, watch this," said Bart, grabbing the spokes of the ship's wheel and attempting to turn it. "Urgh...urgh...hey, it won't budge!"

"The hinge be rusted solid," said the captain. "The old girl's staying put."

He stopped the family as they were about to ascend the old wooden stairs leading to the poop deck. "Only one at a time," he instructed. "The poop deck be very weak. It can't support the weight of all of ye."

Lisa was the first to climb onto the upper deck, and was allowed to look through the ancient spyglass. Then the other Simpson family members followed suit.

When the tour was over, the captain followed them onto dry ground. "Arrr. Thank ye all for coming."

"Hey, where's Bart?" Lisa suddenly wondered.

They turned, hurried onto the ship, and found Bart straining himself against the wheel, fighting uselessly to turn it. "Ugh...ugh..."

"Give it up, Bart," Marge ordered him. "It hasn't been turned for three hundred years."

Bart could only complain as he sat in the back seat of the car with Lisa and Maggie.

"I could feel it starting to give way," he protested. "If only you'd waited a few more seconds."

"You could have damaged it," Marge said sternly. "Do you know how much the captain paid for..."

Homer slammed on the brakes, and the car screeched to a halt. Standing in the street before them was a man with dense, spiky red hair, an elongated face, and a nose like a meat hook. He wore a dark overcoat, and his face was a mask of mortal terror. The Simpsons gasped when they recognized him.

"SIDESHOW BOB!" screamed Bart and Lisa.

Bob, looking more frightened than fiendish, hurried to the passenger side of the car. As Marge lowered the window, he ranted, "Please, you must help me! It's trying to kill me!"

"What is?" asked Marge.

Bob pointed down the street. "That...thing!"

A block and a half ahead of them, a towering metal creature was marching along the sidewalk, knocking down mailboxes and bending traffic signs as it moved inexorably toward them.

"Cool!" exclaimed Bart. "A robot!"

"Oh, my Buddha!" cried Lisa. "What if it's the same robot that killed Snake and Fat Tony?"

"You've got to take me away from here!" Sideshow Bob pleaded. "I can't outrun it!"

"But there's no room in the car," said Marge.

Suddenly angry, Bob stuck a hand into his overcoat...and pulled out a revolver.

"Get out," he barked, pointing the gun's barrel at Marge's face.

"Okay, okay!" the terrified Marge agreed. "Don't shoot!"

"Mom, don't!" Lisa begged as her mother opened the door and stepped out. "The robot will get you!"

"It's not after her," said Bob, who clambered into the passenger seat and trained his weapon on Homer. "Now drive!"

Seeing that resistance was futile and possibly fatal, Homer stamped on the gas pedal. The car roared away and turned a corner, leaving Marge alone to face the seven-foot robot.

Paralyzed by fear, she watched as the metal juggernaut veered off and started to pursue the fleeing vehicle. She breathed a sigh of relief, as the robot's speed clearly wasn't enough to overtake her family.

The mood in the car was tense. Bob kept his gun pointed at Homer, and didn't lower it for a second.

"I thought you were in prison," said Bart.

"I was paroled for good behavior," said Bob. "I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to be mangled by a mechanical monster, either."

"What is it?" asked Lisa as she watched the metal beast's reflection in the rear-view mirror disappear. "Where did it come from?"

"I don't know. It just showed up at my house and started shouting, 'Kill...kill...kill...'"

"We'd better go to the police," said Homer.

"No!" exclaimed Bob. "I know a safe place. Wait, no, I don't. We'd better go to the police."

----

"Cuff him, boys," Chief Wiggum instructed officers Eddie and Lou. "Carjacking's a new one for you, Bob."

"Oh, yes, please," said Sideshow Bob frantically as the cops slapped handcuffs on him. "Put me back in jail. Anything to protect me from...Aaaargh! It's coming!"

From their position outside of the police station, the Simpsons, the policemen, and Bob could see the hulking robot approaching a block away.

"Get ready, boys," Wiggum told Eddie and Lou, who drew their guns and assumed defensive postures. "Don't fire until you see the whites of its..."

Then he noticed a puzzling thing--the robot had stopped in its tracks. A device on the top of its head, apparently an optical sensor, blinked and waved about.

It turned and trudged away in the opposite direction. "Follow it," Wiggum ordered his men. "See where it's going."

"Why did it turn back?" Lisa wondered.

"Who cares?" said Bart.

"Of course," Bob realized. "It's a Justicebot. It thinks I've been brought to justice."

----

In his laboratory, Professor John Frink was tinkering with his newest invention, an enlarging laser. Aiming the mounted device at a miniature marshmallow, he pulled the trigger, and suddenly was the proud owner of a marshmallow the size of a grand piano.

"Great glavin, it works!" he exulted. "I'll make millions selling it as a sexual aid."

As he plucked off a chunk of the giant marshmallow to see how it tasted, the door to the lab burst open and Eddie and Lou entered, guns out. Chief Wiggum stepped between them. "Professor Frink, you're under arrest," he declared.

Frink panicked. "But...ng'hoyven...glavin...I didn't do anything," he insisted. "Yet."

"You're hereby charged with the murder of Antonio D'amico and whatever Snake's real name is," announced Wiggum as Eddie and Lou cuffed the professor, "as well as the attempted murder of Bob Terwilliger. You have the right to remain silent..."

"These allegations are outrageous," said Frink indignantly. "What proof do you have?"

"We followed the killer robot to your secret warehouse," said Lou.

"So, you thought you could make Springfield a better place by sending a robot to bump off all the criminals," said Eddie accusingly.

"That's not true," Frink protested. "I've had the power to wipe out the city's criminal element for a long time, but I haven't used it. It's the whole free will thing, ng'hoy."

"Save it for the judge," said Wiggum flippantly, and his men dragged Frink to the squad car waiting outside the lab.

----

Is Professor Frink guilty? Find out in the next exciting chapter! (Or maybe the chapter after that...)


	3. Lisa's Anguish

The Simpsons received the shocking news from the TV shortly after returning from Sunday worship services.

"This is Kent Brockman. Police yesterday arrested Nobel prize-winning scientist John Frink on suspicion of having programmed a robot to murder Antonio 'Fat Tony' D'Amico and whatever the heck Snake's real name is."

"No!" exclaimed Lisa in horror. "I can't believe it!"

"Police claim that they followed the robot to a warehouse belonging to Frink after it attempted to kill Robert 'Sideshow Bob' Terwilliger, former sidekick to Krusty the Clown," Brockman continued.

"Lisa, what's the matter?" asked Marge when she beheld her daughter's morose expression.

"Professor Frink is one of my heroes," she said disappointedly. "How could such a brilliant man be a murderer?"

"Aw, I knew he was evil all along," boasted Bart.

"Shut up!" Lisa snapped. "Remember how you felt when Krusty was framed for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart? I feel ten times as bad right now. So don't push me, or I'll do something you'll regret."

----

Lisa's sorrows hadn't abated by the time she went to school on Monday morning. Miss Hoover noticed her downcast eyes and constant sighing, and asked to know what was wrong.

"My faith in science has been crushed beyond repair," was Lisa's response. "My faith in humanity has been seriously injured, but should make a full recovery."

In front of her desk, classmates Janey and Ralph tried to brighten her spirits with a little pantomime.

"I'm a killer robot," said Janey, shuffling mechanically with her hands outstretched. "Crush...kill...destroy..."

"I'm a victim," said Ralph as Janey wrapped her fingers around his neck. "I'm dying...I'm dead...I'm dying..."

"Knock it off, you cretins," Lisa groused.

The class session commenced, and Alison Taylor stood to deliver her science report. "I was going to speak about Professor Frink's latest invention, the enlarging laser," she told the class. "However, in light of recent events, I chose to go with my backup report. The discovery of Sedna, the most distant known object in our solar system, has thrown the definition of 'planethood' into confusion..."

After first period let out, Lisa encountered Bart and Milhouse in the hallway. "Hey, Lisa," Milhouse greeted her, "Bart and I have decided we want to be scientists when we grow up."

"That's fantastic," said Lisa with a proud smile.

"Then we can build our own killer robots," Bart enthused.

"And have them fight each other," Milhouse added.

Lisa groaned miserably.

"I'm gonna send my robot into the past to kill Principal Skinner before he becomes principal," said Bart.

"I'm gonna send my robot into the past to kill Principal Skinner before he's even born," said Milhouse.

The boys suddenly heard a familiar throat clearing. Whirling around, they saw Principal Seymour Skinner towering above them.

"Come with me if you want to live," the principal commanded them.

"Uh-oh," said Bart nervously.

----

Still deeply troubled, Lisa trekked to the Buddhist temple a few hours after the end of school. Lenny and Carl were there, clearing their heads after a stressful day at the power plant.

"Hello, Lisa," Carl welcomed her. "You look a little blue."

"I'll refrain from making an obvious yellow joke," added Lenny.

Lisa knelt in a lotus position before the altar, and sighed plaintively.

"I used to think science would solve all our problems," she related. "But now I see that every scientific breakthrough just gives people more efficient ways to kill each other. When will it all end?"

"We've got nuclear weapons, and we haven't blown up the world yet," Carl pointed out. "So maybe there's hope."

"I believe that someday Buddha will come down and turn Earth into a paradise," said Lenny. "But not before the United Nations tries to enslave everybody by tattooing bar codes on their foreheads."

They engaged in meditation, but Lisa found no inner peace. Suddenly Bart appeared in the entrance to the temple, wearing a crash helmet and clutching his skateboard.

"Yo, Lis," he called. "I think you'd better come with me."

Lisa rose to her feet and gaped slightly, surprised that her brother had actually set foot in a Buddhist shrine.

Bart waved at the two power plant employees. "Hi, Lenny. Hi, Carl." He waved at the Buddha statue. "Hi, Lisa's god."

As he led his sister down the street, Bart informed her of what he had heard. "The police thought they'd deactivated the robot, but someone broke into Frink's warehouse and turned it back on. It's loose again."

"You're kidding," Lisa marveled. "That means Professor Frink may not be the murderer."

"Or else he has an accomplice," said Bart.

"I've got to get to the bottom of this," said Lisa with determination. "I've got to clear the professor's name."

"What about me?" Bart wondered. "What can I do?"

"You can shut up and let me think."

Just as they had almost reached the door of their house, Lisa stopped abruptly. Her eyes widened in horror.

"No," she said in a hushed tone. "Please let it not be true."

"What?" Bart asked her.

"I think I know who the culprit is."

----

Has Lisa solved the mystery? Find out in the staggering conclusion!


	4. Mystery Solved

"If you know who did it," said Bart, "why don't you tell the police?"

"I need evidence," Lisa answered. "Besides, the readers will lose interest if we don't place ourselves in a pointless danger situation."

Bart had left his skateboard and helmet at home, and walked the eight blocks to the Kwik-E-Mart with Lisa.

"You know what to do when we get inside," she told him.

"Yeah," he responded, "but I still can't believe we're doing this."

"Welcome, Bart and Lisa," said Apu with a broad grin. "How are my favorite Simpsons this evening?"

"A-OK, Mr. Nahasaquepasapettingzoo," joked Bart.

Lisa stopped in front of the hot dog cooker and peered inside. "Oh, Apu," she called, "I see mold on one of these hot dogs."

"Ganesha help us!" exclaimed the Indian, who rushed over to inspect.

After he had examined the hot dogs for a few seconds, he said, "I do not see any mold, Lisa."

"Look harder," the girl urged him. "It's the one in the middle."

While Apu was distracted, Bart slipped behind the counter and grabbed a wooden pole to which the convenience store keys were fastened at one end. Clutching the keys to prevent them from making nose, he crept through the automatic door and out of the shop.

"I still cannot see any mold," Apu insisted.

"It's right there before your eyes," Lisa complained. "If you want to ignore it, then I'll take my business elsewhere."

She stormed out of the convenience store in a huff. "Thank you, come again," Apu called after her.

Lisa found Bart behind the back wall of the shop, pole in hand. "It worked," she said with relief. "Let's hurry. He'll notice any minute now that his keys are gone."

There were three keys on the end of the pole; the second key unlocked the door to the rear storage closet.

As the door slid open, Bart and Lisa gasped in terror.

A seven-foot-tall mechanical creature was standing on its trunk-like legs inside the closet.

"The robot," Lisa uttered in amazement. "So it was him."

A hand grasped the pole and yanked it from Bart's hand. "You dirty little thieves!" Apu bellowed.

"At least we're not murderers," Lisa retorted.

Bart swallowed. Had his sister just called Apu a murderer?

"How did you know to find the robot here?" Apu demanded.

"It was simple, once I put the pieces together," said Lisa maturely. "You came to the United States to study under Professor Frink. You spent six years performing research and writing your dissertation, but when you were finally done, he declared your results meaningless. You were denied graduation, and since then you've been stuck in a dead-end convenience store job, getting robbed every time you turn around. So you had a motive for trying to frame the professor. What gave it away was the difference between the three robot attacks. The robot killed Fat Tony in his hideout. It tried to kill Sideshow Bob at his house. But it killed Snake while he was robbing the Kwik-E-Mart. If Professor Frink had sent the robot to commit the murders, how could he have known the exact moment at which Snake would commit the robbery? Snake had a fast getaway car, so the robot had to be waiting very close to the store when he struck." She pointed an accusing finger at the indignant Apu. "You studied with the professor. You have the knowledge to program his robots. You ordered the robot to kill Fat Tony and try to kill Sideshow Bob. You also ordered it to kill Snake, not only to get him out of your hair, but to make it look like the professor was using the robot to kill criminals."

Apu grinned menacingly. "You are very smart, Lisa. However, there is another murder which you have failed to mention."

"Which one?"

"Yours." Apu turned to the metal monster in the closet. "Robot, I command you to kill Lisa and Bart Simpson!"

"Run, Bart!" shrieked Lisa as the machine creature raised its arms and lurched forward.

They could hear the robot's pounding footsteps and its obsessive chanting--"Kill...kill...kill..."--as they fled in fear from the Kwik-E-Mart.

"You can run, but you cannot hide," Apu mocked them. "The robot can follow you anywhere."

Bart and Lisa ran three blocks before stopping for a breather. The robot was more than a block behind them, but it was steadily closing the gap.

"I don't think robots get tired," said Bart. "Sooner or later we'll run out of juice, and then we're robot chow."

"We'd better call the police," Lisa recommended.

"What can the police do? Bullets just bounce off that thing."

"Wait." Lisa's eyes lit up. "I have an idea. Follow me."

Running furiously, she led Bart through innumerable city blocks before arriving at Springfield Harbor. Looking behind her shoulder, she saw the robot relentlessly pursuing. The sky was black as death above them.

"There," said Lisa, pointing. "Captain McAllister's ship."

"What are we gonna do, leave the country?" Bart wondered.

Grabbing his hand, Lisa pulled the boy across the sturdy wooden ramp and onto the deck of the Spanish galleon known as the Santa Ana. Mere seconds later the robot trudged over the ramp, cutting them off from escape by land. "Kill...kill..." it droned.

"Oh, man, now we're trapped!" Bart moaned.

"Trust me," said Lisa. "Quickly, up to the poop deck!"

"But the captain said only one at a time," Bart reminded her.

"We're kids," Lisa pointed out. "We don't weigh much."

They clambered up the ancient wooden stairway to the poop deck, the robot at their heels. An instant later they were standing at the ship's bow, the deep blue sea on one side, the deadly robot on the other. The moment of fate had arrived.

CRUNCH!

The centuries-old wood split under the robot's considerable mass, and the killer machine plunged through the lower decks without stopping. It landed in the waters of Springfield Bay with a mighty splash.

Lisa wiped her brow. "We're safe now, Bart. The salt water will destroy its circuits."

"Good plan, Lis," Bart commended her.

"Did your life flash before your eyes?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah," replied Bart. "Hey, there it goes again."

----

The police immediately arrested Apu Nahasapeemapetilon for a number of crimes, including the attempted murder of Bart and Lisa Simpson.

The two kids watched Eddie and Lou drag the cuffed, angry Indian to their squad car. "I would have gotten away with it, if it were not for you meddling kids," he grumbled.

"Good work, you two," said Chief Wiggum to Bart and Lisa. "If you were of age, I'd deputize you."

"It's hard to believe Apu would stoop to murder," Lisa mused.

"I guess he snapped after all those years of being robbed and shot at," Bart reflected.

As they strolled in the direction of their waiting parents, Nelson happened to pass by. "Ha ha!" he mocked, pointing at them. "Someone tried to kill you!"

Resisting the anger that swelled within him, Bart climbed into the back seat with Lisa, and the Simpsons drove away in search of new adventures.

Nelson, meanwhile, stood and watched with a stupid grin as the police officers left the scene with Apu in their custody.

Suddenly a time portal materialized before him, and an eight-foot-tall, sleek, metallic, humanoid figure appeared from nowhere. "Kill Nelson Muntz," it intoned.

"AAAARGH!" screamed Nelson, fleeing with all his might.

----

THE END


End file.
